the best lunch meat between toast ever, except for that time I added jelly.

For dinner a turkey/artichoke panini from Panera on toasted Foccacia bread, and a giant chocolate chip cookie which did not (and I checked) contain trans-fat. Eaten whilst driving through the traffic light on route 9W on the way back over the bridge, both windows down, with the still, steady August air coming in from both sides, a little of the artichoke/cheese juices going down my wrist. I have never had better lunch meat between two slices of toast in my life. There were no parking spots when I got back, so I sidled up on the grass, not-caring. The post-Barnes and Noble Friday night $9 dinner to go was the best post-Barnes and Noble Friday night $9 I ever spent. (as opposed to the mid-Barnes and Noble $9, which is usually accompanied by a few other digits, and then a guilty walk out the big, smooth, wooden B&N doors, resulting in a typical $9 dinner, according to my track record, which is usually the post-B&N thing that tends to round it all out)

Yerba. No, Yerba.

Coffee is borderline healthy, with positive effects to the psyche and immune system, so it has been hard to shake.

I bought the stuff they sell at Whole Foods in a little container that looks like hot chocolate, something called Teccino, made with figs and nuts and, as far as I could see, twigs and branches and other home-building materials suitable for a vole. But that ended up garnishing my ice cream. What worked for me once, my sophomore year, was green tea, which, after six months (and even before that) really just tasted like a sock. I switched back to coffee after a fateful run to Starbucks that morning, and have since been caffeinating regularly while turning my attention to the drugs, sex, and other related vices of my friends and family members.

A week ago, during my sometimes- routine of drinking cup after cup of coffee and getting really involved in some article or paper such that I forget to eat, I felt heart flutters. It didn't feel great, like the other times when I've had heart flutters. And they didn't go away this time, even after I ate an apple and some toast. Instead, they came back a few times, and I had the distinct feeling like this was bad, like my mind was telling me to stop it. I couldn't sleep at all that night, and the next day, I made one measly cup in the morning out of habit, and just the smell felt like I was forcing myself to do this thing I didn't want or need. I abandoned it after one sip.

I decided yesterday I might have hit a plateau, like I did with alcohol after 9 years of experimenting with my repetitive inability to drink more than one beer. I decided it might be time for a moratorium; time to admit I no longer need the abundance of youth to keep me going.

I think I am OK with it. This tea I'm drinking helps. It doesn't have caffeine, which is amazing, because it tastes like it definitely should, and though it's got a very earthy, dirt-like flavor, it's nothing like the green tea sock.

Yerba Mate, it's called. I like it.